PHH: Holy Superlative Week, Batman!

That's right folks: It's Holy Baskets! Week for at least two major religions: Men's College Basketball, and Women's College Basketball
(also, how come Passover and Easter happen at the same time every year? hm, go figure, what an amazing coincidence!)

We all the know payday that the Men's Championship didn't deliver to the UCONN men (sorry, am i rubbing salt in bloodied wounds of self-flagellation?) but at least the Women's team still has one last shot right? Seriously, I don't follow this rubbish so I don't know what's what. Basketball, that's the one with 10 players running around a court with some sort of soccer ball, relatively visable as they are surrounded by the giant logos of multibillion dollar companies? They do something with this ball? Then they walk on water? They sweat green and purple and neon yellow ooze that scientists at Gatorade collect and then sell to the masses as a curing solution for their fatigue.

Progressive Happy Hour: Holy Week edition
When: Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
Time: 9:30pm
Where: Red Rock Tavern
395 Capitol Ave.
Hartford, CT


For me, it is but a week where I am reminded by my Catholic relatives what a heathen I am for not supporting Notre Dame or Gonzaga during the season. For not following a sport founded by our northern brethern of Springfield (oh, we bastard offsprings, Htfd/Spgfd, always to be outshone by our classist overrated NY/BOS/NH/Amhearst!). It's a tough week, it is. No meat, fasting, praying for my eternally damned soul. Then I have to attend some bloke's dinner party for his mates and drinking gatorade and vanilla wafers before heading off to hang out and play a game of pickup basketball on Golgotha.

So, it's time to repent my sins at Progressive Happy Hour. REPENT! I say!

Join the heathens who need salvation. Come inbide in the blessed curly fries! Watch as one multiplies into many that will feed the collected hordes!
Listen to the chants of Burt Ward shouting Holy of Holies to Batman! Watch as we turn water into ale! Hooker Ale! Red Rock Ale! Wine even.

And join us next Tuesday night (April 14) for a free screening at 7pm at La Paloma Sabanera of the documentary HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD

The preceding message was brought to you by GatorAID: please help the Gators get out of Windsor and back to Florida. Remember: Baby Gators might seem like a fun gift for your kids, all cute and cuddly, but then grow up and eat your kids... Donate a child to Herod's GatorAID. www.herodsgatoraid.org for ways to donate your potential male messiah.

-Helder
Ministry of Morphine to the Masses