Progressive Happy Hour: PHH goes to the Dawg House, woot!

Hear ye Hear ye! The President of the United States of America has chosen an official Presidential dog, a Portuguese Water Dog they have named Bo. All news stories, media matters, blog posts, must now preface their stories with reference to Bo the Wonder Dog, his cuteness, and most importantly, that he is of Portuguese descent. That's correct. He is Portuguese. The predictions are coming true! The Portuguese Empire will rise up once more, led by the amazing First Dog of a prominent American President. We have seen his influence already on President Obama: the US has once again reunited with it's European cousines from across the pond. The French love us, the Germans are cool, and the Queen Mother is giving back rubs to the First Lady. Coincidence? NO! All three nations have always loved Portugal and vacation there every year! They love us, the Portuguese! Do you see, Bo's influence is already bringing about new world order.

What was one of President Obama's first aggressive actions as Commander in Chief? Taking out PIRATES! Navy SEALS did that? The secret: Portuguese WATER Dog: so innocent and cute, sneaking up on the pirate boat and... STRIKE! That's the secret, mates!This will once again mean that the Portuguese Empire can return to sailing and pwning the Seven Seas! (Be warned, Atlantis, neither Aquaman or Namor the Sub-Mariner can protect you now; we've got the USA navy to deal with your fishsticks!) Even the President of Brazil is thrilled with the new dog, saying Bo can help save the economy after that white Barney put everything in the tank (but we know that it was really Cheney's cat that was secretly running the show). And just last week, Bo suggested to President Obama, to extend olive branches to Cuba and Venezula, much to dismay of the Conservicats in the field! Why do you think the USPS is trying to cut back on delivery days? Because of the economy? Hell no! They know that the dogs are out, and in control and aren't going to stand for all the junkmail and bills they keep littering our mailboxes with!

The Portuguese Water Dog Empire is rising again! The prophecies come to fruition! All dog puns will be bitten in the arse on site! Only organically grown dog food for dogs. Cats are to be put on restrictive diets and live outside on leashes. Watch out, squirrels... there's big plans for you!

To rejoice the dawn of a new world order under our new benevolent masters, join us tonight for PHH!
Time: 9:30pm
Place: Red Rock Tavern
Addr: 395 Capitol Avenue, Hartford, CT

Cordially yours,
Azul, the American Pitbull Ambassador to Portugal

PS. Aren't you glad I went with this topic instead of more 'tea party' and 'teabagging' puns?