I got nothing. I'm sorry, folks, but it's been a slow week. The alternating summer heat and thunderstorms seem to have created a perfect storm that have short circuited the gray matter in me gulliver and I can't think of one thing remotely interesting to satirize for this here announcement. Now former-beauty queen of Alaska Sarah Palin only titilates me so much. She's played out like an old lover's mixtape in the glove compartment of your car. Sure, I can get into the whole, China buys The Onion News Network and the repurcusions this will mean for the US media world and newspaper industry, but the Chinese overlords will just XXXXXXXXXXXX whatever I might say about theXXXXXXXXXXXX. Those XXXXXXXXXX. It would be safe to just take on that great American sport: deriding the French by satizing the Tour de France since our Lance didn't defeat them this time. But did he surrender?! Not bloody like! Surrendering is for the French and their silly riding bicycles around their country through their insane mountainous terrain, through quaint small French towns. If they were real sports, they'd be riding BMX and making it XTREME by jumping through firey hoops, over the Seine River, drunk on cheap French bourdeaux while jousting with hard one hour old baggettes! Now that's what we would do in the states! Real sports and tests of manly endurance. "ooooo, I rode around the French countryside on a $10K bike with one nut." Bah! All that's going through my brain now is Heat waves... and the ultra sexyness of vampires in Louisiana. Have you watched this new show, True Blood? It stars foreigners as southeners wearing skimpy outfits cause it's so god-danged hawt down in the bayou, that you just want to suck blood out of ever'body. Or have hot sweaty pouding XXXX. (XXXX Chinese overlord censXXXX)
This heat... this damn heat! Gettin' to me brain. Reminding me of the that movie they were just remaking in Cambridge, Mass. Pretty gutsy of the producers, shooting all cinema verité while remaking/updating "In the Heat of the Night" to reflect a post-Obama, post-racist Amerika where a celebrated Harvard professor, while investigating alternate routes into his house, is arrested by a white officer. In this retailing, the roles have been reveresed, with an older more civil and educated African American character schooling a hotshot white cop on how to tackle racism "in the heat of the night". And then, instead of a shoot out, they have beers with the President of these United States!
Well, y'all don't have to get arrested to have a beer with us. Just come on down to Progressive Happy Hour at Red Rock Tavern, tonight at 9:30ish for curly fries, pitchers, & fun.
Peace,
Helder
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