Who would have thought that it was possible?! It's another festivus miracle!
All our health problems have been solved, but only here in the great country of America! The powers that be have decided that we the people shouldn't depend on the government for medical insurance and health benefits; therefore,
they've opted out of the public option in the new health bill. Instead, to really stick it to the insurance man and the government that wants to control the medical insurance dole, Senator Joe Lieberman has used his great power to authorize a magic vaccine to heal all Americans (that matter). That's right folks, kneel before Joe, Sons of Jor-el, and he will cure you of all those pesky diseases that the news media has been frightening us with. H1N1? N0'M0'! Avian flu? Fly away little bird, fly away.
Junkies with monkey diseases? touch all the monkees you want, cause there's a big ol' cure for that now. Chicken Pox? More like, chicken nots! (all these comments have been considered by the Connecticut for Lieberman 2006 campaign.)
So there you have it! Our first Festivus miracle of the season. So, rejoice one and all! As promised, Senator Lieberman has saved us from the government meddling as he
promised. The Grinch has stolen our holiday medicare and he ain't giving it back. He knows it's the right thing, he knows that government supported health care doesn't work. After all, he and his wife have been struggling under government healthcare for a while now! He and the GOP are just trying to keep the rest of us from suffering that indecent injustice. Can you imagine, begging the government to get healthcare? Worry about it no more! They have killed it and now they will heal us all while surviving on their own on the tax-payers' bought health care they must endure. How self sacrificing.
To commemorate, Red Rock Pharmaceuticals - your friendly neighborhood pharamacy at the corner of Capitol Ave & Lawrence St. - will be throwing a Festivus party tonight for the rest-uv-us. Join us at 9:30 pm for the singing of the grievances, followed by the drinking of the diseased blood of the monkey diseases (not for the faint of heart; there will be beer for those). For the truly festive, start down the block at La Paloma Sabanera @ 7pm with Kino Kafe presents "Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Clause Conquers the Martians" with Martian cupcakes!
For old faithful PHHers, there may be some other little Festivus surprises... mainly some old familiar faces stopping by! Who? We aint telling!
-Paid for by the CT Fragged by Lieberman Party
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