PHH: Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas

BPGlobalPR via I Ride The Harlem Line

Well, now we're all thoroughly stressed out by BP's wacky and hilariously named scams to attempt to stop the leaky pipe in the Gulf of Immigrants. BP's oil executives now are engrossed in thought to try something...ANYTHING...to come up with more media-friendly names for that one idea they keep trying over and over: throwing stuff they find in their trash cans at it. We've already had Top Kill and Junk Shot, much to the delight of 14-year old bloggers everywhere. Some suggestions for the next name of the "throw garbage in the ocean" plan: Chain-Ganging, Opposite Roto-Rooter, The 70% Chance of Success Plan, Cloggopalooza, The Secret AWESOME Idea To Save The Planet, Project Rusty Rubbage, The Landfill Bazooka, We-Swear-This-Isn't-Another-Junk-Shot, and Teabagging, Frankly, I think they should watch that episode of "I Love Lucy" where Lucy and Ethel are working in the oil refinery and the conveyor belt malfunctions and starts shooting out oil at a ridiculous pace. That Lucy made a mess of things just like BP, but at least it was hysterical to watch. OH, Ricky was soooo mad after that. Just like Obama!

Well, this is all just horribly depressing, so I'm going to hit play on "the rap music" from the 1980s and talk about basketball and sneakers instead because I read something about Kobe Bryant and Darryl Dawkins and the NBA Finals starring James Naismith's Springfieldian peach baskets. NO DON'T GO, this isn't really about sports...it's a loving ode to an athletic icon that has influenced society beyond
sports much more than any current Gatorade spokesman. Of course, I'm talking about the original All-Star, Chuck Taylor. According to the world's last remaining newspaper, wikipedia, Charles Taylor was a warlord and president of Liberia who was arrested for crimes against humanity, yet still designed a shoe that has stood as
an enduring American icon. Disambiguating this, the real "Chuck" Taylor played basketball briefly in the 1920s, and then spent the rest of his life in a sweatshop, personally signing the ankle of every "hi-top" shoe in America. "Taylor received a salary from Converse, but received no commission for any of the 600 million pairs of Chuck Taylor shoes that have been sold." Good job, Mr. Taylor! A true All-Star of capitalism.

Since the introduction of Chucks, just about everyone has adopted it as a symbol of conformity and...get this...NON-conformity. After athletes, Chuck Taylor All-Stars became the official shoe of the US Army during WWII. Then it was adopted by greasers, rockabilly, sock-hoppers, rebels-without-causes, punk-rock, bubble-gum pop,
grunge, hip-hop, prog-rockers, slackers, hipsters, geeks, dweebs, Dr. Who, and Chuck. Really, WE ARE ALL REBELLING NON-CONFORMISTS, so we all wear the same shoe, by Converse. Which is now owned by Nike. So suck it, establishment!

Come sport your favorite kicks at the Chuck Taylor All-Star party, at Progressive Happy Hour at the Converse Red Rock Tavern on Capitol Ave. in Hartford. Tonight starting at 9:30. Fries, beer, all to be enjoyed by YOU, the All-Stars of Frog Hollow.

--Curtis Blow